HOT TOPIC: Nerves During Recruitment - Is it a bad thing?
Dear Reader,
I was talking with a friend in passing who was interested about signing up for recruitment and potentially joining a sorority. It was a standard conversation; I told her about all the amazing ways sororities changed my life, and she in turn spoke about any swirling questions on her mind. The common things like:
What are dues like?
How much of a time commitment is it?
Is it like the movies? Do you recruit like the U.S.A.?
Will anyone even like me?
That last one, is the reason I’m writing this today.
Having been through three different primary recruitment seasons before 2024 - my own as a PNM in 2021, one as a recruitment counsellor in 2022, and one recruiting as a sorority member in 2023 - I have a lot of experience. And have met so many vastly unique people. My own potential new members I helped through recruitment, my littles who I helped with confidence when talking with PNMs, different Panhellenic Councils who I spent late-night talks over the phones about event planning. All different experiences, with perspectives unique to their situation.
But there’s one common factor, one true related link they all share. And it goes by many names: worry, anxiousness, the universal nerves.
So we’re here to answer the question…
IS BEING NERVOUS A BAD THING DURING RECRUITMENT?
In my humble opinion? No, it’s actually the opposite.
Let me geek out a bit and get a little scientific; your body has natural responses that hinge on survival and overall quality of life. On a base level, it’s about meeting standard needs - maintaining body temperature, metabolism for energy, battling against potential viral or bacterial invaders - but we’re complex living beings.
Our emotional state rivals all other life on the planet, meaning that your emotions are also there to make sure you’re safe. Being nervous about recruitment is a natural response that everyone feels. And in my time in our community, I see it stems from two main points…
You don’t know everything at the beginning, and you learn as the week progresses. We’re naturally curious creatures who like to know things. As you continue through recruitment, you’ll feel more comfortable with the members you talk about, your questions will be fully answered, and you’ll come out of it even more confident than you started.
Being nervous, means you care. Think about a moment in your life when something happened, and it didn’t really elicit a response from you. Was it a passing comment someone you didn’t really know said? A denial from a job application you half-hazardously filled out? A small cut on your thumb you easily cover with a band-aid? When you care about things, they naturally provoke an emotional response. Being nervous about recruitment, means you see the value of the process, the value of yourself, and the potential that comes from being in such a vibrant community.
Now you’re probably reading your screen being like: Tina, that’s great and all. Doesn’t mean I like feeling nervous.
To which I say, ha, me either. Being dressed in a a wave of anxiety is the worst feeling. And as nice as it is to say that a “natural” response shouldn’t scare you, it doesn’t make it feel any better.
So, with that being said, how do we go through recruitment, even if you’re nervous?
I’M NERVOUS - AND THAT’S OKAY!
People live with quote-on-quote “challenges” every day, some more visible than others.
Maybe you woke up an hour later than expected, so you rush your morning routine. Maybe you have a tendency to pack specific items in your bag, but one day for a test you forget your lucky pen. Maybe you’ve been struggling with chronic pain every day of your life, and one day it’s more unbearable, so you stay in rather than going out with friends.
Even if the spectrum varies by severity and impact, these challenges are something we can all live with and adapt from. It’s not about irradicating an emotion in it’s entirety, it’s about acknowledging it and working alongside it’s base-level function. So these are the steps I personally use when dealing with stress and anxiety, put into the context of common recruitment worries:
ASSESS: So you know you’re nervous, take the time to find out why. Is it a prevailing stereotype you heard about sororities in the past that has you worried? Did someone say something that you didn’t quite understand, and you want to make sense of? Is it the fear of meeting new people - and thinking they might not like certain aspects of you?
EVALUTE: Now that we know the why, let’s figure out what we can do with the given environment, resources, and time available. You will always have your Recruitment Counsellor - for comfort or questions - so texting or speaking to them in person is always an option. Lets say you don’t want to talk to your RC, maybe your nerves have to do with them, you can always come to me or the rest of the Panhellenic Recruitment Team for assistance. Maybe you don’t want a fix-it solution, just someone to listen - again your Recruitment Counsellor or anyone on Panhellenic can help with that. If you have a question for a chapter, you can always ask a member you speak to during the rounds, regardless of what the topic of the round is.
EXECUTE: Now we ask ourselves, how do we want to go about with that plan of action? Some people like doing things as soon as they think of them, others are content just by knowing what they’ll do when they’re ready to do it. My advice is that if you’re still feeling nervous, and there aren’t a lot of things you can do in that moment, reach out to your RC or write it down for later. The catharsis of being able to speak/write our your thoughts is a powerful tool, and often times our mind is wrapped up in something not because it’s urgent, but because it wants us to acknowledge it’s own worry.
This might seem like a very simple, run-of-the-mill answer, but this has helped me in so many ways when even I was a PNM. If you didn’t get the chance to read my previous blog post: Recruitment Events - Is it Worth it?, I spoke about my own experience during recruitment. The anxiety, the true feeling of wanting to fit in, things like that. This very method was how I managed to go through despite my fears.
Which also means, I learnt some valuable lessons that I’ll now pass onto you!
A FEW KIND WORDS
And at the end of this long-winded explanation, I just want to remind you of a few things…
Everyone during recruitment, is looking to make friends. Other PNMs, Panhellenic’s Recruitment Team, the chapter members, all of us are there to find connection. Some people you click with, others you don’t, just like sisters. Not all of us are besties, but we all respect and admire one another for just being who we are. There is no need to hide who you are, how you feel; you don’t need to put up a front to get members to like you. They already do, trust me.
You don’t need to be an absolute all-star. When you talk to other PNMs, or members, they might mention a ton of experiences or passions that seem incredible to you, but that doesn’t mean your life or accomplishments is any less. We all live life at different paces, and run different races, that doesn’t mean we’re destined to all end up in the same places. You are an incredible individual and you being where you are in life now is something to be proud of.
When we say trust the process - we mean that by the end of the recruitment process, if you keep an open-mind and learn everything there is to learn by asking questions, taking advice to heart from Panhellenic, and following those answers/advice - you will be great. Every person who joined one of our four sororities has different stories - some were first picks, some weren’t - but they stayed because they finally understood that this was their home away from home. You will experience a supportive, educated recruitment because we’ll be trying our best to ensure you have the most incredible experience.
If you’re still feeling nervous, or want a more direct answer to some of your bigger worries, you are always free to reach out to us over email or Instagram; if you have signed up, you also know your Recruitment Counsellor is always willing to help.
This post was a bit more serious, but I’m glad we got the chance to talk about the deeper picture. Remember - you’re an incredible person, and sororities aren’t about changing yourself to fit a mold - it’s about showcasing and developing the best parts about you with a group of individuals who love you for who you are, and want to see you succeed to your truest potential.
That’s all from me, until next time!
XOXO,
Tina